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                        [2020年9月上]告别青基
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                <h1 id="告别青基"><a href="#告别青基" class="headerlink" title="告别青基"></a>告别青基</h1><h2 id="写在前面"><a href="#写在前面" class="headerlink" title="写在前面"></a>写在前面</h2><p>周六送孩子去学棋，单位的微信群中却意外收到了去年申报的省自然青基网评结果公布的消息，于是心中一顿忐忑不安，连着一上午都无法平静，夹杂着希望与失望，终于等到了课程结束。回到家立马上网查看上会名单，搜索了三次，都未见自己的名字，心中一下被失望占据。</p>
<p>作为主要科研项目资金来源与个人独立科研能力的官方证明，每年的自然基金申报无疑是每位科研工作者心中的<strong>重头戏</strong>；而面向35周岁（女性40周岁）以下的青年基金，则无疑是刚刚走出学校的<em>青椒</em>们获得<em>科研第一桶金</em>的首选。</p>
<p>只是，自己的情况尴尬了些，作为一名在职的大龄博士，一毕业就卡在了青基申报的门槛上，于是乎，今年第一次申报青基，也变成了自己这辈子和青基的最后一次缘分。</p>
<p>自己没有上会，自然是失望到底；查看单位上会人员时，意外发现了同办公室的两位新进博士，纷纷第一年参报就双双上会，一个评价3A，一个评价2A1B，果然实力不同凡响！自己羡慕的同时，也伴随着失落，以及最可怕的，对于自己未来科研道路的又一次怀疑。</p>
<p>如果说之前读博时曾经不止一次想着放弃，但是那时多少还对毕业之后的发展抱有希冀；而这次青基申报折戟，则彻底为自己的科研未来蒙上了一层阴影。</p>
<p>于是自己开始寻求向周围人倾诉，希望可以多少拯救下即将对未来科研绝望的自己。</p>
<h2 id="媳妇的犀利"><a href="#媳妇的犀利" class="headerlink" title="媳妇的犀利"></a>媳妇的犀利</h2><p>自己首先想到的是自己的妻子，于是打电话说自己今年青基挂掉了，这下这辈子都和青年基金无缘了，以后只能面对和诸位大佬竞争的面上项目了，自己未来的科研之路是否就到此为止了，云云。</p>
<p>妻子的反应却异常平淡：哦，没关系，再想想办法。</p>
<p>难道对于自己而言，这不是一件大事么？</p>
<p>带着心中的疑问，等晚上妻子下班回来，询问为啥反应如此平淡。没想到妻子却有些“恨铁不成钢”地说到，“杨老师，现在的果，都是前世种的因啊！”</p>
<p>仔细想想，好像确实如此。从自己相对佛系的读博生涯开始，到看看目前手头积攒的2篇CCF-C类会议和几篇EI，确实勉强达到了学校毕业标准，但是却远远不如几篇好分区的SCI期刊有分量，自然，自己的基金申报会被专家评价为<em>前期工作稍显薄弱</em>。</p>
<p>想想自己博士期间参与的诸多项目，确实积累了较多的项目实践经验。正所谓<em>有失必有得</em>，对于申报自然基金而言，看来自己的未来还是要多注重SCI期刊的积累了。申报书被差评，还是得自己多从论文积累和申报书撰写上多找原因。</p>
<h2 id="父亲的话"><a href="#父亲的话" class="headerlink" title="父亲的话"></a>父亲的话</h2><p>回家陪孩子时，父亲问及近况，自己坦言相告，并且担心父亲无法理解青基对于科研后续发展的重要性，还着重描述了下若获得青基支持，那么后续就有一定的基础可以申报面上、优青或者杰青，才有可能在40岁后有比较好的发展，云云。为了凸出自己出师不利导致的科研劣势，还强调了同屋新进博士第一年申报就顺利上会。</p>
<p>听完许久没吭声，就在我怀疑父亲可能难以理解自然基金重要性的时候，老爷子说了两句听起来很朴实，但是对于我却振聋发聩的话。</p>
<p>一句是：我理解你现在的处境，好比你和别人一起爬山，别人体力好，可以跑步上山；你体力不好，只能一步一步挪上山。可是即便是小步挪上山，也是绝对不能走下坡路的。</p>
<p>第二句是：老百姓常说，走一步，看一步，车到山前必有路；人活的就是一口气，只要这口气在，没有什么能困住你的。</p>
<p>这次老爷子没有举例论证，但是我也丝毫不觉得空洞浮夸；因为这些朴实的话语引起了我内心强烈的感情共鸣，同时也为父亲三观散发的正能量所折服。作为上一代50后，经历过曾经艰苦奋斗的年代，虽然很多观念已经无法跟上如今日新月异的信息时代，但是面对生活挑战的勇气与气度，却从未改变。对比之下，成长于和平且小康时代的自己，确是温室中的一株弱苗，尚需经历风雨的历练。</p>
<p>联想到年少时轻狂自大，父亲经常给我浇冷水；如今已过中年，轻狂少了，却多了些悲观。果然老爷子不是白当的。希望以后我也能成为不逊于他的人。</p>
<h2 id="青峦洗心"><a href="#青峦洗心" class="headerlink" title="青峦洗心"></a>青峦洗心</h2><p>得知基金落选第二天，按计划同家人登山。山不出名，附近一座尚未完全开发的小山坡，但是其中绿树成荫，反而因为少有人迹多了些许自然的味道；加之秋日的温爽，心中缓缓生出心旷神怡之感。</p>
<p>人穷其一生，相对浩渺天地，终究渺小如森林中一颗绿草；常常低头困于自己的脚下，却忘记了抬头看看周围的世界：世界之大，蕴藏着无穷的可能性，怎能因为一件小挫折就悲观余生呢？</p>
<p>看着玩耍的稚子，联想到围棋对局中，错失一角实属遗憾，然而人生棋局距离收官定论为时尚远，怎可知自己不能由已占实地出击，曲线抢占中空呢？</p>
<p>一圈山下来，虽然略有疲惫，但是心情实佳，恰抬头之时，天上飘过一朵类似旺旺的白云，寄情山水，青峦洗心，未尝不是古人的梦想。</p>
<p><img src="https://i.loli.net/2020/09/15/bYatqJZjXs3hWy7.jpg" alt></p>

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                    <div class="summary">我的原则（壹）缘起2020年的中秋、国庆双节，如期而至；作为今年最后一个长假，同时家国节日也奇妙相遇在同一天，都使得这个长假对于疫情之后处在恢复阶段的人们尤为重要：朋友圈到处是晒旅游、晒聚会的状态，哪怕是平时宅在家的同行好友，也纷纷奔向祖国</div>
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